Office Avenger knows all about the annoyances of jobs, job loss and job-hunting. Have a story to share? Please add your comments here. Or email your ideas to officeavenger@gmail.com.
Silence is NOT Golden
Don’t you hate it when…
You send countless resumes with terrific, customized cover letters to jobs for which you are perfectly qualified, yet you never even get a reply (except for an occasional automated e-mail dis such as, “Your qualifications do not meet with our needs at this time. Thank you and good luck.”). The real frustration is that you’ve tried all types of cover letters: the totally professional type, the humorous-yet-sincere type, the slightly wacky type, the wildly wacky type, the name-dropping type, the I-admire-your-company type, even the I’ll do-anything-if-you-hire-me type. No reply. Na da..You begin to wonder, “Is anyone reading these letters?”
Wouldn’t you love to…
Get out all your frustrations of being ignored, by writing a cover letter that really says what you feel:
Dear HR Parasite:
You’ll probably ignore this cover letter and most likely delete my entire application or throw my resume in the trash along with the remains of your stale donut and coffee, so here goes. Just because you have a job while I’m looking for one, doesn’t make you superior, you @#$%*#!!
You’ll probably soon lose your job too, just like the rest of us, and then you’ll go crawling up some HR flunky’s ass , just to get back on the payroll--anyone’s payroll. You disgust me! I hope you choke on the free bottled water at work, then get strangled by your phone cord while trying to dial 911. Thank you and good luck!
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lol!!! I love this post. Who hasn't been through this before? The whole job hunting is task is a drag. On another note, I think that it should be a mandate that folks who interview you should at least have the decency to pick up the phone and let you know you weren't hiring you. ugh!!!
ReplyDeleteWahooooo - too funny!! but serious stuff. Even brides won't work. And, not to mention looking for a job is exhausting work.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the bribes. Sending a "goody" such as a Starbucks card along with your resume and cover letter sends a clear message: this applicant is a sucker! The recipient of the bribe will simply enjoy whatever you sent, but he'll still throw your letter in the trash!
ReplyDeletei used to call every applicant and let them know if we were and weren't hiring, but now that I am on the recieving end (the job seeker) I wish they would at least extend the courtesy.
ReplyDelete